You dream of going away, lust after a feeling of freedom and yet why, when we taste the air of new lands, do we beat ourselves up?
I recently went away for a few days and spent most of the time full of guilt for not being present in my new venture.
I promised myself I’d not do this again. I made a firm commitment that this journey would be one where I allowed myself to sew the happiness of life, into the day to day tapestry of work. I’d not get totally sucked into a world where only one thing took priority. But then how, was I walking past breathtaking scenery, with the sun on my face and yet torturing myself over this struggle?
Now I’m back from my couple of days, I’m being asked about where we’re going on our summer break and the whole ‘dark cloud’ seems to come over me again – the cloud of guilt.
I really recognise where it comes from; it’s born from the fact that we share a virtual umbilical cord with our businesses and distance, doesn’t feel natural or right. Uncomfortable is a good word to describe this feeling.
So, I’m having a good talk with myself – reminding myself what fact I learnt – you need to feel full, healthy and nurtured, in order to keep those dependent on you, happy. I knew this and now I need to bloody stick by it, however uncomfortable.
We’re the source; the life force of our dreams and for the vision to really come to life, you need to be alive. Your heart full of wonder, adventure stamped into your passport and happiness holding your hand. If you make this happen, what repels off you is far more than the worn smell of mosquito spray. The fact you soaked up all these incredible vibes, will fuel everything and anyone.
So, I’m picking up the phone and paying for that holiday now. I’m going to try and not let guilt creep in, even once. I’ll keep my eyes wide open and bring back far more than a souvenir and I’ll encourage everyone to do the same.
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.