Fearne Cotton shares her wisdom on how you can be happier

Ever wondered, “How can I make myself happy?” Well, where is your happy place? Do you feel as though, if you could just get this, that or the other to happen, you’d find your happiness ‘sweet spot’? Chasing happiness as a final destination is a sure fire way to miss it entirely apparently and, when you’re running a business truly doing what you love, happiness should become a byproduct of your efforts, not the sole focus. But how?

To help us understand it better and find out how to adapt our thinking, we chatted to Fearne Cotton, who has spent years exploring the concept of happiness, and has even built a business around it.

Fearne began her broadcasting career at 15 and has worked on shows such as Top of the Pops, Celebrity Juice and Radio 1. In 2017, following a spell of depression, Fearne’s career took on a new direction. Leaving Radio 1 behind, she released her first book 'Happy' and founded her wellbeing brand 'Happy Place'. Now with numerous books, a top 10 Apple podcast and the Happy Place Festival under her belt, we asked her what happiness is and how we should all be approaching it in our lives…

What is the key to finding happiness?

To an outsider, Fearne’s decision to leave behind a top radio show and her spot on Celebrity Juice, meeting A-list celebs and attending glamorous events, might seem odd. But she shared with us that she didn’t leave for any reason other than, “I just felt like jumping. I just thought, well why not see what happens next? And I’m so glad I did.”

Seeking more creativity in her day to day life, the ability to be her own boss and spending more time on the things that excite her were somewhat of a healing aspect to her new venture. She says, “Focusing on stuff I care about, and that other people react well to, it’s empowering to me. I now feel like, ok, I can do my own thing without having to wait around to feel good enough. If I am not creating, I feel lost. I feel very agitated and I don’t sit well in that space. But I’m never happier than when I’m creating. None of it’s a chore and it feels more natural than anything I’ve ever done.”

Finding your brand heart

At Holly & Co, when you take your passions and you find your purpose, and they become the beating heart of your business, we call it your brand heart. Fearne’s brand heart is built from a strong purpose to spread happiness combined with her passion for creativity and wellness. But she doesn’t profess to have all the answers…

Happiness can come from helping others

As you can imagine, happiness is not an easy thing to commoditise. And with a genuine drive to help others be true to themselves and welcome as much happiness as possible into their lives, how is Fearne weaving this golden thread throughout her books, podcast and events?

What Fearne Cotton shared at the Congregation of Inspiration

Speaking live at Holly & Co’s Congregation of Inspiration 2019, Fearne said something so pivotal… “Happiness isn’t a final destination, unless you are deeply unhappy all of the time and need to seek help and make some changes, it’s important to accept that happiness is fleeting for everyone, it comes and goes. It doesn’t matter if you’re Brad Pitt in a mansion or you work in a supermarket. It’s the same.”

Happiness can be difficult to find too, so Fearne simply shares some of the things she’s tried and encourages others to talk about what’s worked for them. When more of us open up to each other and share what we’re going through, it can be helpful to us all as a community.

How does comparison affect happiness?

This aspect of comparison is a dangerous trap to fall into, especially when you’re running or building a business doing what you love. That old nugget of advice to ‘not compare your beginning to someone else’s middle’ really is so important to remember. So how can we break the pointless comparison cycle, instead focusing on what works for us, our lives and our business?

Fearne’s advice is simple. “We’re always comparing ourselves to others, but it has to be a bespoke practice. What works for you is usually the simple stuff. It’s not about money. It’s not about stuff you can get. It’s simple, everyday things that just keep you ticking along. Like going for nice walks, texting a mate you love every day, cooking, doodling, whatever works for you! Lovely little things I think give you little moments of contentment or feeling ok, that’s what we should be looking towards.”

Stop comparing yourself to other people on social media

Next time you find yourself deep in an Instagram scroll, thinking how easy others are making it look and how successful their business and lives look, stop. Firstly remember social media really does show the highlights, the 1% of everything that’s going on — just think about what you share yourself to realise how true this is. Instead, grab a notebook and make a list of all the things you know make YOU feel good. Pin it up and whenever that comparison creeps in, pick something from the list and do it straight away.

The key to finding happiness? Remember happiness is fleeting

So, if happiness isn’t a final destination, how do we get as much of it as we can? As Fearne says, “It’s a nebulous subject matter and even science doesn’t really understand it! But if you’re going about your everyday life and you have ups and downs, good days and bad days — brilliant. That’s life, you know? As soon as we start thinking that some people out there are the exception to that rule and are just happy all the time and have these beautiful lives where everything pans out, we’re totally ruining our own chances of feeling any happiness because it’s so unattainable.”

The ups and downs of joy

If you’re running your own business, chances are you’re doing so because you, like Fearne, are seeking a life where you can be true to yourself and what you really care about. If you do find yourself in a place where things aren’t quite adding up, the chances are you’ve gone off course and it’s time to revisit WHY you’re doing what you do, and recalibrating to keep leading from your heart. This doesn’t mean you’ve gone wrong, in fact quite the opposite. The beauty of small business is the ability to be agile and adapt to make sure what you’re putting out is always true to you.

A final word of advice from Fearne… “Whatever happens, happens, and you will either learn from it or enjoy it. So you just have to let go a little bit, which is hard. But it’s so much better to be optimistic and things go wrong, than to be pessimistic and still have things go wrong.” Wise words indeed.

Finding true happiness: key takeaways…

Here are the three main points to remember.

1. Don’t think of happiness as a final destination:

Take joy in the everyday and follow your own path and passions.

2. Accept that happiness is fleeting:

There will be ups and downs which is good to remember, too.

3. Avoid comparing yourself to others:

Especially on social media. There is no such thing as perfect and Instagram probably shows about 1% of life as it really is.